Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Top Ten Worst Times To Not Have A Man In The House

10. When you're in the middle of baking something and realize you're short one ingredient and both kids are in bed.

9. When you need to go anywhere or do anything and both kids are in bed.

8. When your toddler takes a sudden interest in the toilet and flushes it at least five times while you try to pee, and for the love, will NOT just go find a toy to play with.

7. When your baby that was consistently sleeping 12 hours through the night when dad was on duty decides he needs to eat every 3 hours 'round the clock. I'm looking at you Deacon BeVelle.

6. When something with more than two legs crawls across you in the middle of the night, and after searching by cell phone light you realize it's big enough to eat your face off*.

*slight exaggeration

5. When it's time to take out the trash, because no Diaper Genie means dirty diaper trash and week-old dirty diapers STAAAAANK.

4. Finding a missing sippy cup, that you've convinced yourself only had water in it, and it really was half full of milk, because you know what? Cleaning up your own vomit sometimes makes you vomit again.

3. Only after peeing do you realize that there is no toilet paper in the bathroom because the toddler unraveled and threw away the last roll while you were feeding the baby.

2. When the guy who is supposed to mow your lawn every other week calls to apologize two days after it was due to be mowed because he fell off of a roof, broke his leg in four places, and was just getting out of the hospital.

And the #1 worst time to not have a man in the house is...

When the baby is crying, and the toddler is in the bath and the husband calls so you put down the baby to mix a bottle while talking to the husband and you go check on the toddler to find out not only did he poop in the tub, but he thought the poop was "Ew!" so he threw it in the middle of the bathroom floor and it was written in your marriage vows that you'd always handle the puke if he'd always handle the poop.

Seriously, we are doing great, but we sure do miss Nathan!


  1. poop? on the floor? OMG dying! seriously though I get it! KP poops IN the tub all the time and that is enough to gross me out!

  2. I've never had a poop in the tub incident. *knock on wood* I'm in for it now, huh?


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