Since I became a mom I've noticed somewhat of a "pissing contest" that is occurring amongst moms of all walks of life. Judgement and hurtful words fly from both sides.
What I'm talking about is the divide between working moms and stay-at-home moms. Having been on both sides, I can't help but voice my opinion. Honestly, it's so frustrating to me when I see or hear other moms participating in this debate, because here's the truth.
Sure, stay-at-home moms GET to spend every second of every day with their children, but look at it from the opposite point-of-view and realize that stay-at-home moms HAVE to spend every second of every day with their children. HARD.
Working moms HAVE to leave their children and it is so hard to trust someone else with your child, but from the other side, working moms GET to leave their children for the day and have the privilege of, oh you know, PEEING ALONE.
I could go on and on with examples, but the point of my post is this- Being a working mom is hard. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Being a MOM is hard. Period.
So why are we making it even harder for each other by bringing each other down and throwing judgement and general disregard for feelings around? I say moms need to join together and SUPPORT our fellow moms.
How do we do this? The most important thing, I think, begins with the words we say. We all know that we should use words to build up and not tear down, but how often do we practice it? Making snide comments about how if you were a stay-at-home mom your house would be cleaner or making remarks about how working moms are so lucky to have a second income and how it must be nice to not shop at Goodwill are not helpful or productive for anyone. We all need to throw judgement aside and think before we speak.
Next, instead of judging moms that have to or even (gasp!) choose to work, why don't we stay-at-home moms find ways to support them? Offer to drive their kids to swim lessons, take them a Sonic drink in the middle of the afternoon when you know the work day has to be dragging, give them the verbal encouragement by dropping a note on their desk at work while they're at lunch. These little things can mean so, so much.
Likewise, working moms can support stay-at-home moms as well. If you know your stay-at-home friend never gets a minute to herself, why don't you invite her to brunch alone on a weekend and pre-approve it with her husband so she doesn't have to give a thought to finding a babysitter, or drop her a note of encouragement or a phone call during nap time so that she can just chat and not worry about being everything to everyone for just a few minutes.
I guess the entire point of my post is love. Love everyone you come in contact with. Everyone is fighting a battle, and we live in a hard, harsh world. Give love and get love. Now I sound like a real hippie.
Peace.